The secret door to my internal struggles. It's a dark battle and it's never going to be won. At least not by me.

Tag: starving

I’m so hungry …

I’m so hungry :( Why can’t thin just come to me naturally?

Day Two

Another successful day of fasting :) Today was more difficult mind you. Once I break the barrier of hunger this should be so much easier.



Hunger can be enjoyable

Surprisingly this feeling of hunger is becoming something quite comfortable and enjoyable. It’s odd how for the first few days it’s annoying and painful, but then it’s like you reach a doorway that once you pass through turns all of those feelings to the opposite. I find the feeling of being full quite off-putting and it just makes me want to vomit, but feeling hungry, well there is nothing to vomit up is there so it brings a feeling of peace and control.

Delightful conversations going on in my head

Ana: How does it feel to be a failing fat shit?

Me: I’m sorry, it won’t happen again

Ana: It better not!! Just to make sure that it doesn’t, you’re not eating for the next two days.

Me: Ok.