PerpetualSlumber

The secret door to my internal struggles. It's a dark battle and it's never going to be won. At least not by me.

Tag: hate

Life is Shit When…

You can’t vomit up everything that you just ate because you’re too tired. I hate food.

FAT.FAT.FAT

I fucking hate my fat. Ughh.

Food

I hate food. Almost as much as I hate myself.

Hate!

I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate,hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, you!

I wish that I could just die already.

I’m so fucking weak!

This is why I hate myself and this is why I will never be as thin and perfect as I want to be.

I will always be fat, never skinny. I will always have scars, never perfect skin. I will always be weak, never strong because strong isn’t my nature. I’m always weak, always at the bottom, always the one being pushed around by something, always the one suffering. I hate myself.

Why is it always the same three things: starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut. starve, binge, cut.

It’s never going to end.

Fuck food!…

Fuck food!

Update

I went from fasting for 41 hours to a 700 calorie binge because I’m stressing about school which will then result in fasting for at least 48 hours and then repeating. Mia I hate you sometimes, why can’t we simply not binge?

I can’t begin to explain how much I hate myself right now…

I hate that I’m so damn weak!

  • I hate my thighs
  • I hate my stomach
  • I hate my arms
  • I hate my face
  • I hate my flat chest
  • I hate how fat I feel
  • I hate that I’m weak
  • I hate how sometimes I can’t say no
  • I hate the scars that are permanently on my legs and that though I hate them I continue to make them worse
  • I hate me
  • I hate that I can never win
  • I hate that I like food
  • I hate that I’m weak
  • I hate that people care
  • I hate that I can’t be thin enough
  • I hate how hard it is getting to lose weight
  • I hate how lonely I feel all of the time
  • I hate how awkward I am
  • I hate that though I’m surrounded by people, I feel like nobody notices me
  • I hate how people always use me
  • I hate how I let people use me
  • I hate that I’m weak
  • I hate how I am so easy to forget
  • I hate how stupid I am
  • I hate how I let all of these things get to me
  • I hate how I push everyone away
  • I hate waking up every morning
  • I hate the feeling of wanting to sleep forever
  • I hate that I can’t talk to anyone about it
  • I hate how I don’t want help
  • I hate how my younger siblings/cousins look up to me, when I’m a crumbling mess and would rather die than have any of them end up like me
  • I hate the way that I look
  • I hate the way that I feel
  • I hate that I’m weak