I found this interesting and it made me think. Why do I want this? Why is this one of my goals? What must be wrong with me for me to strive for this?
“She’s fading away, you know that right?”
“But she eats. I see her eat… I mean, I think I do”
“She’s fucked up! She’s a manipulative bitch. A compulsive liar. She’s smart Bella, she’s smarter than you. And she knows it”
“Did you see her legs? Sticks!”
“I know, I know. What are you going to do?”
“I dunno, send her away. I don’t know how to deal with her attention seeking shit. She’s your daughter anyway”
“I don’t know what to do Karl! What can I do?” Mum cried.
“Oh, shut up Bella. You know how much I hate it when you cry”
“I just, I just, I dunno wha’ to do”
“We’ll take her that Mr. Clensy guy. Don’t matter if it cost me a fortune. She’s my Bella’s girl, means she’s my girl” Karl lied.
A very skinny girl looked back at me.
Her hair was thin and loose. Eyes sunken and dark. Lips chapped and broken.
A very fat girl.
I lift my arms up and she does too. 6 bones expand through her pale skin. I twist my upper torso to the right. Pointy hips jive away, protruding from the stomach.
Dam fucking fat pouch
Why couldn’t you just go away
A very fat girl looked at me
Thick, red scars. Fat, lines, lines, lines. Perfect little slices of relief. Like scrolls of secrets lining her thighs, wrists, stomach.
Look at your thighs! Ana screamed at me
Look at them! God, you’re pathetic!
“So, do you know why you’re here?”
Bright lights. Stench. Cleanliness.
Something metallic protruding from my arm. A drip.
“When did you last eat?” Mr. Clensy asked.
White lights. Bright white lights.
More scars. Thick, deep. Red. Cavernous.
I turn my face away.
Nearly there hun. Nearly at perfection.
You’re nearly a feather.
You’re nearly free.