The secret door to my internal struggles. It's a dark battle and it's never going to be won. At least not by me.

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And just like that, I’m alone again

I feel like my end is coming soon. It will definitely be by my own hand, it’s really more a matter of when than how or where.

Damn I love drugs

Perhaps I’m just destined to be alone. Everyone becomes sick of me eventually


Never again

Have you ever wanted to die so badly that you contemplate drinking all the cleaning products in your house just to get it over with? All I want is to die; quickly and as painlessly as possible

The horrible moment when I plan to end it all and leave my eternal misery behind, and then my boss texts me wanting me to work tomorrow. I would really rather not have my entire workplace involved in my depression so somehow I have to get through tonight at least. My life is so painful.

The Most Painful Thing I Have Ever Felt

This is mad. It’s insane and I still don’t understand why or how it happened. I didn’t even like girls until I fell in love with her. Being in love with someone you can never have is like being surrounded with water when you are dying of thirst, yet being told you can’t drink any of it. It is so painful and does slowly kill you. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to think. I don’t know if I should leave our beautiful friendship of eight years, the happiness that being her best friend brings or if I should stay and pray to god it passes. I’m scared. I’m scared it’s all going to be too much and I won’t be able to cope. I’m scared of ruining her happiness by telling her how much it hurts me that I can’t have her and he can. I hate this feeling. I hate love and I hate that I’ve fallen for her and she will never love me in the way that I do her. This pain is truly like no other.

I am so painfully confused. Damn I hate myself

To Cut or Not To Cut

I don’t even know anymore