The secret door to my internal struggles. It's a dark battle and it's never going to be won. At least not by me.

Month: June, 2012

Feeling like th…

Feeling like the size of a house because my supplements made my period come back. Oh yay!….


Daily Intake

B Nil

L Nil

D 3 Corn Thins (66) 1 small Fuji apple (55) 1 small Mandarin (26)

S 15 Jelly Babies (180)  Fuck my life :(  I was mindlessly eating and got up to 15 before I realised what I was doing.

Exercise Walk home from school (-44)

Net. Total: 283                         I regret those jelly babies like you wouldn’t believe. They weren’t even that nice!

Being told that you look healthy..

Possibly the worst ‘compliment’ in the world…  When will my Dad ever learn

Black and White Thinspo

Black and White Thinspo



Back to Basics

I’m going back to recording absolutely everything that I eat. I stopped doing it because it made me so cautious of putting anything in my mouth which scared me, but it’s the only thing that worked 100%. Weight dropped off so quickly. As of tomorrow everything is being recorded. Hopefully everything will fall back into place, back to how it used to be.

I Need to Lose Weight

I Need to Lose Weight



Feelings that I can’t explain

It’s weird. When I think about it, I haven’t had this many people care for and want to spend time with me in a long, long time. Somehow though, I’ve never felt more alone.

Ughh yuck!


Blehh fjgnkfjgkjfgkfgjk :(