Whenever I star…

by Perpetual Slumber

Whenever I start to crave foods or think that I’m hungry I just push on my thighs with my hands. The cuts from when I binged last time are still pretty sore when I touch them. I know that it’s wrong, but it helps me to remember what will happen if I give in and that I shouldn’t. Cutting for me is an odd thing. I don’t do it to feel things because I’m numb or because I’m sad and don’t know how to handle it, I do it as punishment for myself when I do something that I promised I wouldn’t. It makes me feel better because it’s punishing myself for my mistakes and lets me accept that it’s done and move on. What must be wrong in my mind for me to even think like this?