I binged…. I …

by Perpetual Slumber

I binged…. I always do this when I’m going so well! I had a handful of fat free marshmallows(which still contain calories, even though they’re pretty light), some pretzels, a small apple and almost a bowl of grapes :/ I managed to purge most of the grapes and apple, but only a bit of the pretzels. It was taking too long. I plan to go on a long walk tomorrow and eat nothing except for veggies, excluding my breakfast which will probably be two scrambled egg whites, now that I’ve worked out how much I should eat. Overall today my net calories was 560, which I’m not really happy about, but at least it’s under 600!

I know that I’m going to stuff up on the weekend because my mum keeps reminding me about the samosas in the freezer. I’ll try and eat them at a time when I know that I can purge them easily or after I’ve done a HUGE amount of exercise. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can’t my bones just poke out and I be thin without having to restrict everything that I eat? :(  I just want to be thin, for people to look at me and say that I’m too thin, just like they used to, for my hip bones to stick out, to be able to see my ribs pushing through my back, for my collarbones to look sickly, to have a killer thigh gap and to be under 50kg. That is all.